Bargains

So he had another visit with his therapist. When he came out I got his dinner. He said it was skimpy. Then I told him our daughters volleyball tomorrow is far so I wouldn’t go and was going to my support group. No answer. Asked if his session went well. No answer. So I asked if he was giving me silent treatment. He said he didn’t know what to say and I’m like it was at least a yes or no question. But I’ll leave you alone then. Then he objected and proceeded to tell me how his individual therapist says we need to go to couples counseling. He was rude about it. And he’s told her I refuse. Well one he needs to recognize and address his abuse, lies, and cheating first. Two I’m sick of hearing how all he talks about in therapy is me. I asked if they had reached a plan on handling triggers. And that’s when he threw couples therapy at me. I asked if he’s addressed with her threatening to kill me and acting on it by swerving the car and the threatening to kill us both. Of course he hasn’t. There’s no help for him. He won’t even tell a therapist the whole truth. And now he denies that’s abusive. He won’t tell because he doesn’t want someone else to confirm it. And that’s only one incident. So instead of working on himself he’s using therapy to gain manipulation tactics. I also talked to two therapy practices about couples counseling and both refused because there is abuse involved. He knows this. But of course fails to tell his therapist this. And when I remind him of this he says I just want to be “right” and I’ll never think differently “the end”. Our daughter got home. And I was like fine- I accept that as your decision so quit yelling at me. He called me a “fucking bitch”. Interestingly my girl stays out of it usually but this she told him off for. I think she said she’d punch him or something if he ever called her the things he does me. He then tried to deny saying it “to” me and said he said it in his room to himself. To give my girl credit she doesn’t buy gaslighting and told him no you did not- you called her a fuckin bitch to her face as you went towards the hallway. He left then came back a minute later and apologized. Means nothing. I didn’t call him names or scream at him. I just told him to stop yelling at me. And his therapist seems to suck. He’s worse when he gets done. And lies to her to feed his narcissistic victim syndrome. She’s apparently not good enough to see through it. Wouldn’t a therapist stop and work on HIM and what makes him feel triggered rather than advise on a marriage she only knows one side of? He has said she knows he’s verbally abusive - though I’m sure he places some blame on me. I mean often I’m just sleeping in my room when he barges in to yell at me so surely I did something. Are therapists really that dense? Or did he get a bargain? Done.