BadBye

Saturday I left the house at 5:30am with my daughter for her softball tournament over an hour away. My husband didnt want to go as he says he hates spending the whole day watching softball...we wont go in to how that makes our girl feel especially when he never said this about boys baseball.  The last game was at 4:20 so we got home around 8pm. I was tired but the last time I took a nap while my husband was home he became irate at my inconsideration so this time I struggled but stayed awake. He kissed me. Then berated me for not putting enough effort forth (meaning I didn't grab his cock). he announced he was going to bed. I said Id come with him and we went to bed together in his room. We are still active on and off depending on if he’s abusive.He caressed me lightly and I did the same. Then he stopped. I drifted off. He threw the covers off and declared angrily that he might as well watch tv and left the room. After a few moments I got up and retreated to my room. Unsuccessfully as it turns out as after only a few minutes he  came in and yelled that I could actually show that I wanted him. And "you wonder why I look elsewhere. You're a fucking bitch". I mildly replied I was just a bit tired and it had been a long day and that I had caressed him and it wasn't him and I didn't want to fight. He proceeded to call me a bitch, and a selfish bitch and that he was fucking done with me" for another minute or two then left slamming the door and grumbling insults and hate under his breath. Sunday morning another round of games again a 5:30am leave time. We should have taken two cars as I had to be at the airport by 7pm and its an hour from home. But as we left he hopped in the car and I decided it wasn't worth inciting his daily wrath..I didn't think the team would kick ass and be at it all day. The 90 minute drive was tense and uncomfortable as he silently seethed emanating bad mojo into our atmosphere. I kept low key and just drove quietly. The cold shoulder continued through the morning with a few snide insults slipped in which I let pass. Mid day we took a walk for 15 minutes which went peacefully enough. Afterwards we went out to the car to lighten our clothing as it warmed up...he said he was self conscious about wearing a sleeveless shirt because I once told him he was looking emaciated. He is 5'11" and down to 145 from 170 but I wont whitewash that I was throwing an insult in one of his tirades some months back. He said he could tell me Im getting fat and doesn't...to which I replied mildly "well you just did but you'd be right...I really really need to lose 10 lbs off my ass". he told me I was a fucking bitch who didn't listen to his feelings and it was all about me and I was validating what I said. I replied that I shouldn't have said that when I did. So he called me a bitch again and stomped back to the bleachers. I told him he should really address or get help with his anger issues. And to quit trying to pick a fight. Hey good guess readers...he absolutely called me a bitch again! I also headed back but sat some distance away to avoid more of the same. He texted me inflammatory comments still trying to hatemonger. I only texted back that it wasn't fair to our daughter to have an unproductive fight at her game and that she wanted a drink but I was too afraid to ask...and that I shouldn't have to be afraid. Between games my daughter asked him to get her a gatorade..he told her to get it herself. She said never mind in that tone that 13 year old girls can be known to have. My husband grabbed his chair said "I don't know why I even come to these fucking games with either one of you bitches. I'm never fucking coming again". Because that response will totally correct a childs inappropriate tone right?! so after another game another win (3 in a row so yay to the team!) it is getting late and I have a job to get to. I know that though my husbands complaining about being there hes not gonna leave to let me get to work so I call my sons girlfriends mom..shes also at the tournament but at another park 10 minutes away. She kindly agrees to let me hitch a ride but asks if my "husband" can bring me to the other park. I go ask..he says NO. She agrees to pick me up but a few minutes later my husband comes to me "you know what I will fucking take you. Ill fucking get fucking rid of you. Lets go and you can get the fuck out of here you bitch. you can go fuck a pilot. Im fucking done with you". He takes off. I wait several minutes...and no I didn't reply. When I arrived at the car I began to map the park and after a minute my husband starts the viciousness  ":I cant believe you dont know why I have anger issues. I thought you were smart but you're really fucking stupid. You're a fucking bitch. All my friends I talk to agree you're a lying cheating fucking bitch. (possibly but if so based on his compulsive lying and falsifications) You can just get the fuck out. Go fuck a pilot. You're probably already fucking one or there's one you want to fuck. I'm done with you you fucking bitch. I want separate checking accounts and you can get the fuck out". Well that vein pumped blood for another couple minutes in the same fashion with continuous verbal abuse. He then took the keys and stomped off. Now while I've become somewhat immune and strong on occasion a super spoonful of hate dished out all day at me and insults screamed at length for a good 7 to 8 hours can still get to me and I ended up in tears. I waited a good 10 minutes to gather myself after crying for 20. I went over to wait for the game to start and my ride to show. I calmed. Then I walked over to him and asked him if he was proud of himself and how dare he start that shit and say those things especially there. Then I walked away. A bit later he texted and said hed give me a ride no talking with a smiley face. Then he came up and asked and I said why? so you can trap me in the car and hurl more verbal abuse on me. No thanks. Then I left. Then the nice texts start...Im sorry, have a safe flight, love you. I ignored all of it..because does he? It doesn't seem like it. Im going to have to say goodbye...or shouldn't there be a word such as badbye?... to this mean person if I can't find that man I love again...Im not living the rest of my life being abused.