Trick or Trick Season

 So when he got home yesterday I broached the subject of his behaviors and responses Saturday. First was that his poor comment at dinner made it sound like he stays for money. Fine - but be honest about it rather than this false love hoovering he’s trying to manipulate me with. He says he asked our sons if they were offended but when I asked if he minded if I mentioned that when I spoke to them he suddenly couldn’t remember who he actually spoke to and suddenly it was vague. Oh - this means he’s lying. Good to know but no point in addressing. I also addressed that when he jumped me about my phone not only did I tell him I was texting our kids but showed him. At first he looked blank and didn’t seem to remember until the conversation progressed. Early dementia signs? Anyways when I asked about him texting he refused to answer- and I pointed that out. I told him when I said wouldn’t move forward first any more and that change had to come first he answered that he didnt want to be roommates and that suggested he was doing therapy etc to manipulate me for sex not real change. What he could have answered was that he understood and was going to keep working on changing and learning to be respectful etc.. Somehow he jumped into semi defensive mode (deflect/divert) and we discussed cheating and lies though that wasn’t my intention-he brought it up. The conversation actually didn’t go bad. Mostly because he thought I was buying his bullshit. Also he decided to finally admit he was chatting with a woman who hit him up on Facebook. And he thought she was legit because they had mutual friends. But when she said she was looking for a soulmate he blocked her. I said why didn’t you show me? He said he was afraid of my reaction. Um if it went like you said then why would I? But he didn’t show me because it’s all lies. And I told him every time this happens it’s a reset to day one of him trying to work it out. He said that’s not fair cuz he’s not cheating. I looked at him and told him not cheating is alevel underground as setting the bar so far below the bare minimum. That’s when he diverted the conversation. But I’m onto that . So tonight when I got home I told him I had a request. I asked to see the messages he had with the fb woman. He said he deleted them. I said of course you did. You never have proof of innocence. So I said let me see your blocked list. Then we can also unblock her and I can see your mutual friends you claim she had. First he said she disappeared when he blocked her - I pointed out I’d be able to see her on his list. Then he acted confused about the mutual friend thing and denied it but when I reminded he had given me the names of the two friends he was like oh yeah I did say that. Then he did what a liar does. He had a fit. Yelling about me starting drama every night. Well ok - all he had to do was say here ya go and show me - no drama. But he couldn’t because he’s lying! I said never mind. And he ranted a moment about just wanting to come home and the he went off to his room. I actually am grateful for the timely reminder that he is still lying and cheating. I had a weak moment of not feeling the drive that truth keeps me in. He thinks he’s tricking me. And I’ll just keep letting him think it for now.