Boyfriend Material

 The fact that the abuse has spilled onto my daughter is what in many ways has made it less painful. I know that sounds odd.. but I have a protective and complete love for my kids. So in attacking my daughter there is little left of him as a human to me. I don’t even remember the subject but my daughter was indeed disrespectful to him. I have actually tried privately with her to get her to dial disrespect down for her own safety. But as he’s never dealt with it in an appropriate manner it’s gone unchecked. And she needs someone in her corner so I will not get involved when it’s happening. And when it does he insults her compounding the issue. So she wasn’t being overly disrespectful just a tone common to teens. But my husband became irate. Proceeded to tell her with the way she is no wonder she didn’t have a boyfriend and that she would never have a boyfriend. That no boy would want her. Who says that to their daughter? Oh he does. What an appropriate way to teach and earn respect- Not. I feel my younger son judges on occasion what he thinks is a mutual process. But he’s not here daily. He doesn’t see the constant abuse that generates our disinterest in the husband and father he is to us. The tone my daughter had is like the tone her Dad has only 10 times worse in response to anything I say. Every interaction conversationally he considers disagreeing with him. I let these attitudes slide most of the time - I’m well trained by years of living in fear of retribution. Occasionally myself or my daughter will have a tone with him - but he instantly becomes incensed and insulting every time and often when there’s no tone or slight even involved. He always feels threatened in his self perception. So much for his regret , apologies and promises to never insult his daughter again. Sadly she and I knew this anyways. I don’t know if she will find boyfriend material with exposure to this person - I should have taken her out of it years ago.  But that’s not on her it’s on him . She’s a beautiful, funny, intelligent charming girl who will probably have trust issues because of him