Scare Crow

 This is a morning I have to acknowledge how afraid of him I am. I was sleeping. Completely out when I awoke to fingers aggressively touching my genital area. It was him. I pushed his fingers away as I struggled to wake up not quite sure what was happening. I pushed at his hand and mumbled no but he didn’t stop. He was half on top of me from behind and I was afraid of his anger so I became still. He kept touching me. I touched his cock and pulled hoping to make his ejaculate so he would stop.I rolled over on my back and he grabbed my underwear and pulled them off hard. I turned to the side but he pulled me back and got on top and tried to put his cock in me. I asked if he had a rubber. He mumbled that he wanted to put it in me and tried to force it in. I grabbed it with my hand and stopped it. Asked again if he had a condom while he pushed his cock at my genitalia as my hand held it from going in. Then he rolled onto hi back finally stopping. I got up and went to the bathroom and he left the room while I was peeing. I was shaking. It felt like rape. Intimidation. He came back in the room a few minutes later and yelled at me for a full minute saying “fuck you”. And how his duck isn’t diseased and he thinks I’m diseased and should be tested. And how he’s going on all the dating sites because I rejected him. More fuck you’s. Then he slammed my door and left my room. A few minutes later he came back. Again yelling at me saying I’m fucking a whole bunch of guys. And how I should because I’m free to. And he’s going on the sites. And he’s sick of me rejecting him (we’ve had consensual sexual contact twice in the few days prior). Again he slammed the door and left the room. Again he returned a few minutes later. This time threw a rubber at me and told me here you go / go fuck another guy. Then he said “ I hope you find somebody so you can fuck fuck fuck cuz that’s all you really want” as he violently slapped his hands together over me while I laid in bed. He then said fuck you several times and parodied as if I’d said his duck was diseased  and said after this morning he would give his dick to someone else. Then he said fuck you a few more times and said “you wonder why we’re going to get a divorce..right here” then he slammed the door and left the room again. Then he came in again and said I was on “websites-you’re off meetme and tagged but not the others”. I replied I’m not on any others (truth). He said I might as well be and said he was sick of this rejection bullshit. I said I had wanted a rubber. He replied in parody again “get a rubber get a rubber” “your condoms in here so go find a dick to put it in I’m sure you’ve already got plenty lined up” then he slammed the door again as he left. He came back one more time to say the same then left again slamming my door. In all of this I spoke only twice. As above and once I told him I was sorry he felt that way and that he had said before he understood and was ok with using condoms.. he said that was “before”. But I didn’t ask before what. He told me don’t ever fkn touch him again and that it meant nothing. I kept my voice low those two times as well. I recorded it. Even in that he admits I said no and had to push him away and close my legs. He gets super mad when I say he scares me. This scared me.