Attacks

Our daughter had a softball tournament a couple hours away today and my husband rode with us. A seemingly decent day. No problems. I drove while they slept. We dropped our daughter at a friends grad party on the way home. As I sat quiet next to him not 5 minutes later he started verbally attacking me. Unprovoked unexpected. Vicious. First he asked angrily what I had done with cash I took out of our account this month and what account I put it in. I said I took the cash to pay the mortgage. I had told him I was going to do this before I did it. He kept spending money and I kept telling him the mortgage was due but he never left enough in the Account to pay it. He spent money on motorcycle tires - like 300.00. And another 140 per week on weed. spending at Walmart. I didn’t object to any of the spending because when I do he gets super angry But I did want to make sure our mortgage was paid. Although I have no idea why when I told him I put money towards the mortgage he got more angry. He kept going on about me putting it in account and I told him again that I had told him before hand that I was doing this so he knew about it. He admitted that I had told him and somehow converted that to calling me righteous which really wasn’t even applicable in the circumstance of what he was saying. I also told him he can go back to our account look and see that amount mortgage never got paid out of our account because there was never enough money in it and that’s why I had to take it out to pay it. Then he told me I was a know it all and thought I knew everything and had done everything which also had nothing to do with the subject at hand. Just random attacks. I didn’t defend or get even slightly upset. Then he started yelling at me about how I don’t cook dinner I don’t clean and I won’t have sex with him. Not that I should have to defend myself in my own blog but I do clean I’m the only one that cleans and I cook about five nights a week. And I actually wasn’t unwilling to have sex I just wanted protection meaning condoms. He said something about coming to his room for sex and I calmly stated that in fact I have come to his room and provided sex multiple times and he has never come to mine. There’s not argument to that fact so He then started yelling at me about how I never contribute and haven’t done anything and I never do anything and it’s always all on him and how I Never work or contribute. I told him calmly and simply that he could portray what he wanted but that our tax returns would prove differently since I have in fact worked and contributed for the last six years. I didn’t mention that being a stay at home mom and doing everything involved with the house is a viable contribution. He also accused me of shutting a text. I said yes I did - that I had gotten a strange message from a fake fb profile and showed him where I blocked the messenger. In fact though I can’t prove it I know he’s the one that copied the guys profile made the fake account and messaged me to see if I would answer. Which is dumb because not only did I figure it out instantly but even if it had been real I wouldn’t have answered. It is the same guy he blew up about because the guy commented on my fb post. And it’s only someone from when I was in elementary school that I’ve never spoken to. Nor do I want to. He might be off the mental deep end. He then started screaming at me things like you wonder why I don’t like you. And he told me to get the fuck out of the house. I quietly said no. In fact I stayed calm the entire time. I didn’t say a lot. I did ask why she initiated a fight as soon as we drop my daughter off. I asked if you felt better. And I did tell him I didn’t understand what the problem was and that I had told him about the mortgage to avoid exactly this but I think ultimately it wasn’t about the mortgage anyways it was just about anger and him wanting to verbally abuse me And he said he didn’t like me and that I refuse to have sex I said well that’s not true I like most of the time and I’m not unwilling to have sex I’m just I’m willing to have unprotected sex. He called me a liar and a bitch. He screamed at me that he’s going to do whatever the fuck he wants And how he doesn’t give a fuck about me. Initially I didn’t respond I just went to my room and close and lock the door. When I went out into the kitchen he was out there and I asked him to clarify his statement and if he meant by he was going to do whatever the fuck he wants if that means that he intends to step outside the marriage again even though that’s something he said he would never do. He said that’s not what he meant but we know that is what he meant. I said well I just wanted to clarify and make sure we were on the same page and he said you do whatever you want I don’t give a fuck about you or what you do. Again I quietly just said OK and went back to my room. Lastly he’s been lurking around outside again- trying to peeping Tom through my windows- I caught him out there tonight because I heard something then stuck my head out the window as I have no screens. I saw him go back in the front door but he closed it very slowly and quietly- but with my head out I could see and hear it. This whole evening was scary. He’s scary. I need to leave. But I just  need a little time . I can’t be homeless. I’ve no job and no options. And I can’t leave my daughter homeless. I hope I don’t leave her motherless as he says and acts like he might be that dangerous