Sorry Not Sorry

 As typical once per week my husband is home from work because his back hurts. He's been to the doctor who not only prescribed pills but has suggested and agreed to perform cortisone shots which would relieve the pain. But that was months ago and hes yet to follow through on scheduling. Last week he mentioned that he needs to do that and get a rotten tooth pulled but has been avoiding it. I told him I was amazed because if it was me and I had his pain I would have scheduled that shit yesterday. I can only think hes unwilling to sacrifice the negative attention and victim card it provides.

So anyways he wakes me up at 4am. "give me a back rub". I was asleep and the words are what woke me. I didn't say anything but I did comply - if I didn't I would get bullied anyways. After 5 minutes he said "rub harder". which I also did. Then 5 minutes later he rolled over because it hurt too much. The he started in on verbally abusing me over propane. "we never have any fucking propane for me to take a hot bath '' (not true - we had it the day before). "no one ever takes care of it to make sure I can have a hot bath". (also not true since I get propane 90% of the time). "no one makes sure theres propane". (no I am not a walking gas gauge nor is he). Then he went into the whole "i'm tired of working every day" "your life is perfect" " you dont take care of your husband" "and you wonder why I talk to you like your a piece of shit" blah blah. I did go in finally at 620am and got propane. When I got back after a bit he came into my room and said "I'm sorry for the way I was earlier and how I talked to you". I didnt say anything. And a minute later he said "but I'm sick of being the only one that does anything around here and picking up all the slack. You fucking do something". Yeah thats not sorry AT ALL. Then he asks for a backrub again. and says he doesn't know what to do. I said you should probably get a shot. That set him off. The mean tone "its not like I can do it today" (I didnt say that). "thanks for not taking care of your husband" (didnt say that either). anyways I'm not sorry either. I am sorry I put out the night before last though.