Projection

So after giving my husband a back rub and going 10 miles into town to get propane I got ready to go meet a gal from my support group for lunch and a walk. I told my husband that I had plans - and what they were. He proceeded to tell me “I can’t believe you made plans with someone else”. “ I can’t believe you aren’t going to take care of your husband”. I replied that I certainly had as I’d given him a backrub and got propane. He proceeded to tell me what a poor job I did at the back rub. And also that the only reason I got propane was because he ‘made’ me. I said you didn’t ‘make’ me do anything - you didn’t push me in the car and drive me to the store! He proceeded to tell me that this just wasn’t going to work if I was going to just leave and not stay home all day.  I told him I made the plan not knowing he would be home and that I’d done what I could for now and as he started to berate me further I said I can’t do this and left. I did enjoy my day with a lady who I can relate to and liked. Things weren’t awful but they weren’t good when I got home either. He didn’t ask about my day but he did ask if it was a woman. He could have asked in a way that wasn’t based on his own lack of trustworthiness since of course it was a woman. Then he asked “did you take pictures of you guys?”. I said “of course I did because I knew you’d be a psychopath about it so I had to have proof” - even though I have never cheated. Never talked to a man. Never had a connection to a man. While he’s had tons of all that. I am exhausted with all this. I don’t even accuse him of anything even though he’s cheated and lied for years. Usually though anything he’s accusing just means it’s what he’s doing. So now I know. It’s called projection.