Whoops

Having shared my husbands shameful truth provided me a luxury I havent received since counseling - support. Last night my husband came home in a rage. I was talking to the woman..probably not the only woman but at least the most recent..he hooked up with. He raged for 30-40 minutes screaming some of the worst abuse yet. He cornered me and wouldnt let me pass then when I tried to he pushed me against the wall holding me there with his hands while I cried and struggled and demanded to be let to. The usual names..cunt, bitch were screamed in my face with no escape allowed by him. How no one likes me. How his family hates me. How he sees why my mother didn't love me.  He is done. Hes got a great lawyer so Ill get screwed (emphasized with an ignorant click click of his mouth). He will have a better, smarter, prettier, sexier woman. That parts even ironically humiliating for him since his hookup is older than me, homely, and drops the F word as much as he does. He continued to insult, threaten, bully and scream. He pushed me and said sometimes he’d like to fuckin kill me. I really just hit my limit. Mostly I didn't engage other than asking why he was so mad since when he has this rage I’m scared for my life at times and more so as his violence gets worse.. Finally I slipped to the side and ran to the bedroom and locked the door behind me. Later once he was calm the next stage of manipulation began. Seemingly horrified at his own behavior he vowed to "fix" it and get help. And do all he could to make it up. There's a sucker born every day...there's one that dies too and the sucker in me is very dead. It was however a dramatic experience. He did make that counselor appt. But when I didn't applaud and praise him he began the bait and switch campaign. Subtle. Applying for a job in California because hes not wanted here. Bought me a card but didn't even write a name in it- mine or his. And he doesn't have the wherewithal to up and leave..its just an attempt at a threat. And unintentionally demonstrate his narcissistic inability to empathize. he called his hookup today at work and talked to her for 10 minutes. He lacks the intellect it requires to understand how this is offensive. I feel confident i need not spell out why to anyone else! Whoops he did it again! Future whoops are sure to follow.