Date Night

For the past few months Ive watched my husband become more engrossed..or re-engrossed rather..in his phone. i dont check it - i got over that some time ago. but he sits across from me leering at his phone and smiling and its patently obvious the circle meets again. Hes sleeps in the spare room now - I didn’t tell him to he just started sleeping there because he’s developed a lot of sleep problems- or at least that’s the cloaking excuse. Ive joined him here and there but hes never joined me. For awhile I almost thought he had advanced because even though he wasn’t sleeping with me things were better..then I realized nawww..cant be..its hard to let go of that way of thinking when my own mind works normally - trying to fathom the abnormal thought process of another is difficult. On saturday 9/25 I was even feeling a bit benevolent..then I didn't hear the last sentence of something he said and the verbal vitriol spewed all over my head. How I don't listen to him and what a bitch I am. I immediately and firmly responded that he had no right to speak to me that way just because I didn't hear something and next time I would not be interested enough to ask. Later that night I asked him to describe something and again received a tone and wording equivalent to treating me like an imbecile. I also was telling him how to look at something on my facebook on his phone and he said fuck you bitch - and hung up on me. Our anniversary was 9/27. I got a happy anniversary text. And thats the day he began plotting more secrets. On our anniversary he told me that on Saturday he and his work buddies were going out to have a few beers. I didn't object - why would I ? That's perfectly reasonable. And I am fully behind him ahving friends - and I want to trust and work with him. Then Friday night he comes home and spends an inordinate amount of time cleaning his vehicle inside and out. Then he wants me to give his hair a trim. What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive. It took very little effort or imagination to realize he was planning a hookup. I mentioned he was going on a date and he retorted that he was going to fuck someone. The truth couched in sarcasm. Luckily for me at the last minute a friend called with an extra concert ticket so she and I went our way and he went to his work buddy fun - but oh no wait - it was really a date or technically a hookup. With someone he met online. And met at a hotel for that date (what a skank) And anyways what kind of desperate whore has her first meeting with a man at a hotel? And the plot was obvious. Typically he would talk about his entire night as i did my concert adventure. But out of character he had little to say. I even slept with him saturday night - ewwww. I also stumbled upon his profile Monday morning.. Irresistably I created my own fake profile on that website and proceeded to chat with him for several hours. Hilarious that he was still looking for other women to hook up with after his date with the homely old gal! alas I called him out on it on the phone before he got home. He was furious - at me. It was all my fault. He proceeded to tell me fuck you, explained what a terrible wife i am. How I don't do his laundry. Don't have enough sex (even though he’d rather jack off with Ed pills and porn) Kicked him to the spare room - although as a side note I never actually kicked him there. He has sleep issues that affect me so slept there a couple nights. (restless legs, twitching, snoring, sweating _hes even punched me in the face a couple times) Then said that mattress was better on his back...and well it just went on like that. I'd rather sleep together when we are doing well. Not that I want to sleep with him now so the end justifies the means. Anyways after he got home he also managed to scream at me that he fucked her and it was great (so great he was looking for fresh meat the next morning lol) inclusive to calling me a bitch, cunt, bad wife etc. Hmmm..once done most things cant be undone. In a selfish attempt to save face he also took a break and went and told our kids what he did. When i told him that was inappropriate he got even more furious screaming abuse and insults like a thunderstorm across Kansas! Eventually he started to say he felt sorry - but his tone of voice belied that. He didn't sound apologetic at all and I told him so. Then he progressed into regret, crying, and begging and more begging. This is just bad to worse. Then he wants me to believe him. He snuck around planning a date and hookup AT a hotel and suddenly his word is good haha. Then started the lets go to marriage counseling. I'm not responsible for his choice of actions. He needs to figure out himself and who he is or wants to be out and then we can work together with a counselor. And the corker - he acts like he feels bad but ONLY BECAUSE HE GOT CAUGHT! And he wont admit it! but he was happily chatting my fake profile up hours later. Not admitting he was married. And nothing came about until I busted his chops. And today I found out that after I outed him he actually called and texted her. Ostensibly to break it off...then of course he deleted it all. And tried to refuse to admit that deleting it is lying and deceiving. In fact since hes well aware I think hes the biggest liar evvvver then if he had even a smidgen of intellect he would have kept proof of his break off texts rather than delete them. So he dug his hole deeper. And now what? I told him nothing grosses me out more than knowing i slept with him after he fucked someone else and plotted it from our anniversary on right through my birthday.. So he thinks we can fix it - huh - I asked him how with his problems he thinks he can wait around for me to trust him? I mean the meanness is a turnoff but this really is just a total eww. Ive told him just to be him - if thats what he needs to do then whatever but own it, live it, and dont draft me into a lie. just do it. This whole thing brings new meaning to the recommended marital Date Night! He got his date night...just not with me. Oh and as an addendum to this stellar week on my anniversary i also got fired from my job over a work comp osha issue then my daughters pitch coach starts sending bitchy texts because I shorted her 5 bucks - even though the damn lesson was cut short. Thank goodness my crazy friend took me on some crazy train awesome fun at that concert while my husband was on his date!