Define special

 Today I think I had a breakthrough a real insight into how a person who lacks empathy and who is abusive thinks and how their thought processes actually don’t work. Yesterday My husband and I were discussing the on again off again sometimes argumentative relationship of my son and his girlfriend. I happen to mention that I could understand them working it out and that I found almost anything forgivable even like between us I could find some of the cruel things that were said or things like throwing stuff at me some times that he even physically hurt me - I could let a lot of that gi but the one thing I had difficulty letting go of was cheating with five women in less than A few years. I told him it would be one thing if he had gotten drunk and had an ego thing falling into bed with someone but the planning and the number was some thing I was having a really hard time getting past. He told me or his response was well I’m not doing that anymore so let’s just move on. So I didn’t have my depth of thought in gear at that moment so fast forward to today and he was making insulting comments about a friend name Lloydand how Lloyd had another new girlfriend and then he quietly mentioned some thing about her being fat and how Lloyd didn’t pick that great or have a lot of options and I couldn’t resist it because yeah so I’m in the position of having been well not me but my marriage destroyed by him so I said you’re one to talk. And oh did he play the victim suddenly I was the bitch because I made a remark in spite of the fact that that remark wouldn’t even be possible if he hadn’t actually fucked four of the five women in the last couple of years.That thought process is not some thing he can achieve and it was at that moment or a few moments after that it occurred to me it’s because he can’t his response was I’m not doing that anymore  I’m not cheating I’ve been better I’ve only blown my top at you a couple of times in the last month - it’s never I can understand how I hurt you and I don’t wanna do that again so I’m trying to be really open with you now that’s what a normal guy that really wanted to work it out with his wife would do but then a normal guy would only cheat once and work it out he wouldn’t like planet and join dating sites and do it over and over again so I don’t know why am surprised I bet even with the remark I made he didn’t sayIn a way that would be taking penance  which is really what he needs to do but he didn’t say you’re right I’m sorry I choose you I mean there’s so many other responses that would show him as a human but he still wrapped up in being about him this I’m not cheating I am behaving it isn’t about me or about other people about taking care of being a decent person it’s just about look at me look at how good I am look at me not cheat I’m special. Did you know he’s not he’s not special he’s the opposite of special