Define Delusional

During one of our discussions I asked my husband if he realized that not one month had gone by in years that his porn hadnt touched our lives. He didnt really give any response to that specifically. In his thought process he has said he has looked occasionally but nothing like he used to and hes not gonna lie about it. Yet oh so recently wasnt he watching porn on tv and on his phone while whacking off? I dont think he can masturbate without porn. He is somewhat like Don Jon if youve seen the movie. On 1/7/14 he recorded a very low budget porn flick on showtime...he wanted sympathy the next day after work for being soooo tired...but of course I told him maybe if he wasnt up at 130 watching porn he wouldnt be so tired! Since my salsa blog he has tried to be loving and patient which is the standard manipulative facade to keep me off balance...and expectant which I find excessively annoying. He'll get home and after 10 minutes or so is like " how come I didn't get a kiss yet?" Um I dont say it but maybe because you almost ran me over with the car? And hes attentive. How does he think it just goes away..just like that? He is as good at lying to himself as he is to me. And on the 9th he was looking at women on his phone. And last night he watched the porn flick again. I still picture him on the couch, dick in one hand, phone in the other, porn on tv, and the whole thing is a turn off. Some nights ago he was having sex with me (no "we" about it!) and he starts repeatedly saying " you want me to fill you up? You want me to fuckin fill you up?". I found it distasteful and very pornlike. I told him so though more gently and his response was...thanks for ruining it for him! Ok, really?! Next time..every time..I'll just worry about how he ruins it for me. Then 2 days ago he comes in my room, wakes me and say why dont you crawl on top and ride me? I didn't "reject" him with a no - that has proven risky to my life.I just pretended to be next to comatose sleep..he knew it was the same as no but he could delude himself that it wasn't. I am not confrontational about the porn..he knows what I think and the damage its caused and chooses it anyways. I mildly mention it on occasion just so he knows I'm not stupid and hes not clever. But it is the point of this blog...for you, and me, to see what a porn and sex addict is like and what its like to be married to one. It is a world of delusion for him and a harsh reality for me.