So another long break from blogging. This time because I have been stuck with my husband being home...and with the joy of the kids being home! Finally today I am by myself to retroactively add the pieces of December.
The flow before Christmas was calm, happy, and steady. Its a time of being busy making it the "season". I had a great time shopping different days with my different kids. My sons and I had a particularly enlivened intellectual discussion about science and religion...it was an incredible joy to experience them so deeply. I spent time shopping with my daughter...went to build a bear and the movie Frozen. These are moments of time I truly enjoy. My husband and I did well together in spite of probably spending too much time together when we are not very stable. As par for the course he is in one of his remissions..but the cancer is always humming along in the background. He decided to surprise me with a gift of more togetherness for Christmas by booking the saturday after with an overnight stay, hot springs, massage, and facial. I decided it sounded good to me lol! The day was nice enough. At dinner I supplied some random thoughts I had as an opening gambit to explore how shallow he may be. I asked what goes on in his head...he said nothing. I said surely he must think sometimes? He replied really just work and sex. I said "surely thats not all you think?!". He made some joke which then veered talk in another direction (his work)and the subject was dropped. Now granted he was stoned..and obtuse! If I never mentioned it he smokes an ounce of weed a week. After dinner the plan was to take me out but after driving by a few places he reneged because there wasn't any place hopping..with other people. I privately found this irritating..why does there have to be a bunch of strangers around to have fun? However the weekend ended peaceably. Massage...facial..hot springs.sex ..it all wore me out. We connected physically. I was tired and crashed early sunday night. Monday I was still tired...and tired of my husbands "man" shows on tv (cops, cars, pawn etc) so I escaped to my daughters room to watch a movie. Again peace reigned. Tuesday..that would be New Years...was not so peaceful. Started out easy enough. We all went to the movies. My husband had made some snide remarks...such as I talked about taking my girl to a kid spa and he commented that Id have more fun with her at a spa. Which I didnt get because we or at least i thought we had fun on our weekend. I offered to get him a cookie at subway and he asked "why are you being nice?" But I let these and other digs slide. After the movie my younger boy was rude to his brother and when I tried to reprimand him he laughed..unwilling to make a scene in the theater I waited until we were in the car then told him I wasn't happy with his rudeness.my son replied " you're always pissed" then I hear my husband chime in with " yeah youre always a raging bitch..why dont you find a new fucking life?" Hmm...I asked him "how have I been a raging bitch?"...he said I had been since we got back from our weekend but could not supply a single specific incident. Later I discover that apparently I was not sufficiently grateful or rewarding for his weekend gift - in other words what HE expected as my price for his gift was not paid properly. How that discovering conversation evolved I will share tomorrow...but lets just say salsa can cause a lot of angst!
No comments:
Post a Comment