Pull It

Some days seem better than others but beneath the surface lurks imbalance. My husband went out of his way to be charming but under the charm are more lies....and more porn. When you search porn addiction on google sometimes you find comments (from men of course) that looking is "normal" and men are "visual"...but they confuse average occasional looking with TRUE addiction. For someone in my situation my husbands porn addiction progressed...from mild to wild to perverted to teen girls to actual contact with paid providers of sex. My husband is full of righteousness claiming to have been "good"...in reality hes just lying about looking...after all when I type in the letter m on my phone autocomplete does not bring up milf ! After the charming day yesterday we mutually initiated sex....several minutes later he was yet again asking me to "pull on his cock"...this is what porn does...makes a man want serviced...even when we do have sex hes a stud I should be grateful to...which is about HIM. Needless to say we ended up not having sex and after him bullying me and berating me I felt forced to pull on his cock to save myself from abuse...and my desire dwindles.  But what does that matter? Pulling on his cock has nothing to do with making me desire him.