My son is in college on a baseball scholarship to pitch. He came home with a shoulder injury and I took complete control of solutions, support, empathy and love. When my husband got home I started explaining my sons situation. Within 3 sentences my husband started “when my shoulder hurt”. He didn’t get anymore out as I will tolerate a lot on me but not the kids. I interrupted and told him “this isn’t about you. It’s about out son and I’m trying to tell you about HIM.” Surprisingly he shut up. Probably because our daughter was in the room. I gave him more information but he had lost interest and within a couple minutes went to his room. The amount of questions and information I would have wanted had this been reversed would have generated a half hour discussion for me. Not him. Yesterday my son saw the dr and it’s not final but could be bad news. I cried for him alone so I wouldn’t upset him. We talked solutions and whatever he needed to talk about. Then I asked what I could do for him -mentally physically emotionally and whatever he needed I am there. Again when my husband got home he asked if our son left already. I said yes and he’s answered well that sucks. What he didn’t lead with because being a narcissist is being a selfish prick is “how is he”. “How was the dr. visit” etc. My daughter and then I both started briefly explaining the potential severity of my sons injury. His response was “you’re kidding”. “That sucks “. No questions. We gave him a little more info about possible surgery but still no questions from him. He didn’t ask about our sons mental or emotional state. The entire conversation lasted maybe 3 minutes before he went to his room. Thank goodness I see normalcy in my kids as my daughter and I discussed it all for at least 30 minutes. The kind of discussion I would have expected with a normal father. I truly believe he’s likely to be more bothered by the gloss of reflected glory from our sons talent than he is by our sons loss. This is when I realize how much he always thinks everything is about him.
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