Say it Louder

 My daughter, my husband and I went to her softball game together. On the way home he was sitting in the back and my daughter in the passenger seat. She was playing music and it was a bit loud as teenagers do. My husband got a phone call. Now he was sitting right behind her. He could have gently tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to turn the music down. He could have leaned forward and spoken in her ear. But instead he screamed (literally) then pushed her yelling “turn the fucking music fucking down”. Same result abusive method. He couldn’t have said it any louder.  I feel as if I sacrificed so my kids could have stability and better lives. But my daughter suffers his abuse now too and my son seems influenced by the negative behavior finding validation in his father’s bullying. There was rightness and wrongness to staying leaving me in a grey area in the middle. We haven’t had sex since the end of April and I get lonelier as time passes. I still want him to try to be us but he doesn’t and accepting that has always been my challenge