Crazy Sour Worms

Yesterday myself, my husband. son and daughter drove about 80 minutes to go pick up a deck for our house. Our current deck is in serious disrepair and somewhat hazardous. Plus the one I found is also bigger and we can put some patio furniture on it. The trip went well which was great and one of those days I thought we could do this life together. It’s been almost a month since we had sex and last night I went to his room and though we aren’t 100% reconnected we had a good roll in the bed at least.
Today my husband asked "do you want to go with me to Castle Rock to pick up a toolbox/" Castle Rock is about 70 minutes away. "not really". I answered. That opened the can of crazy worms. "I fucking went all the way to pick up your deck" he said. And okay in this instance instead of rolling over I made a small contribution to the end results by responding  "well I thought the deck was for OUR house for the whole family to use...but I guess since its mine only you're not going to use it right?". This invited a diatribe about how he did me a favor. I said "well if I had known it was a favor that you were going to hold over my head I wouldnt have asked". To which he answered "Ill fuckin hold something over your head...a fucking brick and then I'll fucking drop it and watch you die" What?! "Okay so now youre threatening to kill me. Nice. I'm out" I replied and I walked out onto our back deck and away from the situation...even as the words "fine, get the fuck out you fucking bitch" drifted in behind me from the ever unstable person who lives here.
An hour later he seems to expect me to go to the grocery store with him. "When do you want to go? Later?" he asks. And I say yeah but I ponder how blind, oblivious..maybe not deep enough to fathom that I dont want to go to the store with someone who threatened to kill me. Mental health is a serious issue and as time and incidents march by I realize its hidden threat. How many other households...women...are held captive in the wake of a bully? No matter the reason or the issue no one has the right to be abusive. Even if he thinks he does.