Evolution

When I began this blog it was more about my husbands infidelities and sex addictions that is accompanied by abuse and the pain and doubt this gave me. Then it became more about just the abuse. As time passes it seems to involve insightful and factual abuse incidents and a correlation to narcissism. After a brief and typically deceptive reprieve of things going well and our relationship somewhat enjoyable the basic craziness returns and it always shocks me that he can't recognize his own mental instability.
So to the facts...
Incident one.We had someone come dig some trench. My husband marked the dig lines but wasn't there when it was done. I had the guy dig another 8 feet away just to be safe however the marks were so far off some lines were cut. Initially he blamed the contractor. Then blamed me...blame is a big thing for him. Eventually I defended which earned me some verbal abuse and the you're a bitch speech. Nothing new there. I wasn't inclined to blame but in defense it became relevant. So on my day off I dug my ass off around the line so it could be repaired. My husband got home and walked right on by me in the yard. Not a word not thanks no help. So his small middle aged wife is doing mans share. Fast forward to the next day and fairly he was actually digging since I had not done it "right".  He came in a bit later pissed and complaining because our tenant had walked right on by him without offering to help or thank him. Ah the new me mildly and in an even tone pointed out that in all fairness he had done the same to me. That also earned me being called a bitch and questioned as to why I was running to defend the tenent..sooo point missed of course. Incident two. A few nights later I was working on some post holes while he talked to an electrician..then I hear him yell my name and "get the fuck over here". Mm.no. I will not when you ask that way and do NOT talk to me that way. He backed off but it's interesting because usually he fronts with those outside our home..his mask is getting harder to keep in place.
Incident three.  He was backing out of a parking spot and I said "someone's behind you'..and he was "you know I can fucking drive I'm not fucking stupid" etc etc. My daughter told him you don't need to be a jerk..and I told I wasn't commenting on your skill or insulting you I was just letting you know. He called me names under his breath and I just shook my head a bit. Incident four.I had headache and asked my girl if she had ibuprofen. She said no and my husband says "I don't have ibuprofen but I have Advil"
 I reply that's the same thing so that will work. And yet again he got all offended and stating it was unnecessary for me to say anything and if it had been him he wouldn't have. And again I had to explain my lack of intent to gravely insult him. Do I even need to explain why he called me a non stop complainer and how I'm always fucking complaining and a problem in s vicious tone to a Home Depot clerk? Irrelevant but evolutionary.