Several days last week my husband complained of neck pain. Said he was sure it was serious and probably ruptured. On Wednesday he was moaning and “dying”and went late as he was barely able to move. A few hours later he butt dialed me and I could hear him yelling to his coworkers and laughing. When he got home that night he again was debilitated. When I mentioned it he pawned it off. On Friday when he came home he went straight to his room with extreme neck and back pain. Through all this I did the usual...back rub after back rub. Playing fetch it. Being sympathetic. Saturday morning he was up at 4am. Puking. Moaning. Groaning. Yelling. Complaining. Burst in my room to tell me how painful it is... and make derogatory remarks to me. And how he hadn’t slept all night because of the pain and how much worse that was making it. And how someone else can pick up the slack. I ignored the insults. I had an appointment at noon to look at a car for my son that day. When we got ready to leave my daughter peeked in his room and said he was asleep. I peeked in after and backed out closing his door. My daughter and I discussed that he was finally sleeping and snoring which he needed to feel better. I texted him and told him we checked on him and left him because he was finally resting and that I hoped that did it (for getting better). He called shortly after and proceeded to yell fuck you at me repeatedly for not waking him because he wanted to go and didn’t want to be home all day. Of course I stated the obvious about his condition which also earned me a fuck you. I didn’t respond in kind - in fact I was kind calm and firm. I told him I was sorry I misunderstood the severity of his ailment and that as he stated he couldn’t even walk I didn’t think 4 hours in the car would help his back. I also told him that saying fuck you is unacceptable. We had some time left before the appointment and I offered to wait where we were at so he could meet us and go. He said fuck you and hung up. I texted and congratulated him on his amazing recovery and offered again to meet but again he refused which I told him was his decision. He doesn’t last 4 hours running errands when his back doesn’t hurt so not sure about his thought process. So Sunday he’s still fine. Rides his dirtbike. Watches porn. Then came mes Monday and suddenly he’s debilitated again. Need I mention that this is usually on mondays or fridays? Mostly mondays though. Psychosomatic maybe? So he wakes me at 4am for a back rub. Then fetch me stuff. Then the massager. And when I start with the massager he starts bitching at me. First how he hates his life and everything about it sucks and there’s nothing good in it. I told him he’s never been happy or satisfied and that within him. Then he bitched about my Facebook status being “complicated”. And he was going to put how he feels in his fb. First I told him the status of complicated is NOT a feeling it’s a situation. And when your husband is a cheater and fucking other women it IS complicated and if he wasn’t fucking other women it wouldn’t say that. I said all of this without anger and in an even tone. He didn’t say anything back - some facts can’t be manipulated. I then told him I’d get him a dr appt and cancel a getaway we had planned to Florida. To which he called me retarded. I decided not to engage - he has no reasoning skills anyways. But the mortgage is past due. It would have paid 2 wks late on Friday but he took 420.00 in cash out of our account and we needed 200.00 of that to cover the mortgage. He took it for no real reason 100 for pot 100 for gas but the rest? Just because he thinks it’s all “his” money so he has a chip on his shoulder. Anyhow...so he’s missing work and can barely function. So what’s the point of a mini vacation when 1. He can’t move and is in pain. 2. Nothing good in his life so why would we go together. 3. With more missed days we can’t afford a vacation day. 4. We can’t afford the hotel because of lost income 5. The year just started and insurance deductible is back to 0 so we have to spend on copays and deductible for treatment. Duh. Then he starts bitching because I haven’t taken care of getting his dr appt. I did tell his it was inappropriate that he berate me while I’m massaging his back and finding doctors. But as I sat there running the massager and he fell asleep I started to feel pissed off. When I had cataract surgery in October he sure never made my appointments. He never went to one. He called his skank on my birthday. He was fucking her while I was planning surgery. And even though he had the day off he didn’t take me to surgery and wait- my 16 year old daughter did. I said zero and quietly exited his room but my resolve is clear.
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