Fifty Shades of Crazy

Mental instability is a real problem. My husbands inability to reason and narcissistic angle view demonstrate how this is disguised to present a facade to the world. Last week I came home. Kissed him hello. Glad to see him. Looking forward to some us time.All seemed fine. Them out of the blue he tells me I didn't kiss him enough or right. That I don't want anything to do with him...then it spirals into abuse. How I'm a bitch. How its all about me and I do what I want. How I'm cheating. And hes going to make it all about him. He s going to leave me with nothing and quit his job so he doesn't have to pay support. After walking away once to the other room and being physically cornered by him into interacting I said I am not going to live out whats left of this great life with drama and nastiness and bullying every couple days. With my persistent calm he finally realized the seriousness of it and backpedaled and we sat down in the living room peacefully and together. Two days later and there was a similar situation because I didn't respond correctly in bed. A couple days after that I was on a trip and I get a text telling me how disappointed he is and what a liar I am and questioning my honesty because somewhere at some point he managed to track down some spam message from an unknown scam likely number that I received in my phone that even if you Google the place says that it spams people's phones. Of course he backpedaled from that one too after deteriorating into verbal abuse at me for a while. He subsequently realized his mistake but that doesn't mean he could take back the accusation in the first place. I also asked him a pertinent question because when we argue he claims he's Googled my behavior and that it means that I'm cheating. Because he Google's  "my wife's not interested in sex with me" and then he gets the answer she must be cheating so I asked him do you actually Google “I've cheated on my wife” I lie all the time” “ I'm addicted to porn” “ I've emailed other women” “slept with other women” “ I'm verbally abusive" "i tell my wife I hate her and that I'm going to fuck other women" and now my wife doesn't have sex with me why ?” and I told him don't you think you'd get a different answer? So a couple days later I come back from that trip my first night back I'm not inclined to sleep with him - not really inclined to sleep with him at all with all the abuse but the second night - last night I go ahead and I go sleep with him knowing that I probably won't get much sleep because he tosses and turns he snores and he grinds up against me half the night. be that as it may I woke up this morning he's touching me I touch him back.. I have my back to him but I'm kind of responsive if half asleep  After a few minutes I roll onto my back and the shit hits the fan! Apparently rolling from your side facing away from someone and then rolling onto your back equates  refusing to have sex because the instant I hit my back he had a fit. I lay there silently while I slowly woke up realized he was berating me and calling me a bitch and then I sat up and said are you really yelling at me because I rolled over onto my back? and then I got up and I walked my ass out of the room and went back to the other room of course as usual he did follow me but only briefly to tell me he wasn't going to be faithful - like I didn't already know that and like he ever has been and then of course he's disappointed again or something like that. I don't remember cuz I was so sleepy but I mean day-in-and-day-out equals just living from one crazy day to the next. He was in a fury because he wanted doggy style and I dared to roll over! At least I didn't have to have sex with him...whew what a miss. 50 different ways to melt down hence 50 Shades of crazy!