Movie Night

One night last month I arrived home from work after 4 legs in one day. 8 hours flying and being on my feet is tiring. I cleaned the house which is always a disaster of piled dirty dishes, clothes and general trash when I get back from a trip. My husband and I greeted each other pleasantly when he got home from work, had dinner (which I cooked) then he put a movie on the tv. I dozed lightly off about halfway through. At the end I awoke to him berating me about how inconsiderate and rude I was to sleep while we spent time together. Its relevant that he falls asleep almost every time we watch a movie including at the theater. Its a bit of a running joke with the kids since he snores. And I dont get bent about it. In fact it doesnt bother me. But of course everything bothers him especially if it gives him an opportunity to bully me. This didn't escalate into a fight as I avoided engaging or defending. Since that night about 3 weeks ago he has been overtly "normal". A veritable facade of reasonableness and loving. The standard alternate manipulation tactic. I did however choose to accept the "new" attitude at face value...the peace and pretense of normalcy is always nice while it lasts. So Ive responded with kindness. I've decided to quit my flight attendant job. Although it provides space from his drama up until this recent turn it made his abuse even worse upon my returns. Twice he hurled so much hate and cruelty I left for work in tears. And my daughter- I can no longer leave her alone in this.But as I said the last weeks have been fine. Then the switch flipped. No idea why. It just happens. Oh wait...must be using porn. Or a hookup let him down. When I got home two days ago same routine. I clean a filthy house. Cook dinner. Greet him when he gets home. Hes unresponsive but I dont sweat it...he had a long day at work. Hes super pissed he had to take our daughter to softball all weekend...says He never gets to stay home and he hates her 'shit' games. All while i get to do 'cool' stuff he says...which is working on a plane and mostly hanging in a hotel room - but I went to a draft league baseball game one night in Wyoming so he resents it and converts it to more emotional drama than a pubescent girl. So hes grumpy. Not nice. Its ok. I can deal. He rags on me because my schedule worked for me to take my girl to an out of town tournament so he has his weekend free as he wanted...but now hes mad because he takes her to all the shit tourneys and I get the cool one. So I tell him several times...you take her then! I dont mind. I can get stuff done. But he doesnt want to take off work as games are thurs to sat.  Then he falls asleep during the movie he put on. Remember that last post about the whole sleeping during a movie? What a hypocrite.  I dont sleep but I let him sleep. After the movie I go to bed and 15 minutes later he opens my door. "So much for missing me" he accuses in an angry tone. I dont answer but in my head...really? He was grumpy, rude, and fell asleep - how did I offend him in that scenario? Ah..he can only maintain the fake guy for short periods..it must have been exhausting for him!  So yesterday I went to my sons baseball games. I texted and let him know Id still make dinner. When my daughter, son and his girlfriend and I got home I kissed him hello. Asked several questions about his day. He answered but a disgruntled mood was obvious so i tread lightly in fear. He spoke briefly to my son about something on tv. Then he reverted to moroseness. He mumbled some self pity comments under his breath about no one giving a shit. Hed been drinking of course. Then he got up without a word and left the room. Went to bed. An hour after I went to bed I heard him open my door. He just stood there for about a full minute. It was actually quite spooky. Hes threatened to kill himself in the past sometimes I think hes really considering killing me. Because hes nuts you know! Not right. Its a sad way to live in your head. And movie nights generally suck by the way.